Using the F-Word at Work
As a leader how often does the F word enter your thoughts or your vocabulary? Whether it is in your thinking or language, to use the F word takes courage. Great leaders show empathy. Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. The F word great leaders use is ‘Feelings’. If you bring your authentic self to work, then you bring your feelings too and so do your team.
‘ Feelings and emotions are valuable data points, it’s what we do with them that matters most .’ Dr Susan David, Emotional Agility
Emotions and feelings influence our actions; and our actions influence the results we achieve. ‘Effective leadership requires being aware of emotions and reflecting on the sources, meaning and response options. Emotional reactions are a source of information and wisdom.’ (Janet Britcher, Forbes Council). Great leaders learn to recognise, use, understand and manage the feelings and emotions in themselves and others to gather insights and unlock performance potential.
Still not sure you should be embracing your feelings as a leader? Let’s do an exercise. Think of a leader who influenced you in a positive way – hopefully there’s a few to consider. Now think of a leader who influenced you in a less than positive way – you probably still learned a lot from this person!
Can you remember exactly what each person said to you? More likely than not, the specifics of what was said has been eroded by time and the Limbic Brain. Possibly one of the first thoughts you have at the mention of this person, is a memory of how you feel after being in their presence. This feeling may lead to a smile, underpinned by happiness and an energy to perform at your best; alternatively, this feeling may lead to a grimace, despondence and a bitter after taste. American Poet, Author, and Civil Rights Activist Maya Angelou summarised this experience when she said,
“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” Maya Angelou
Think about the leader who positively influenced you. Did you feel valued, empowered, encouraged, committed to the team goals and clear on the success milestones? If yes, these feelings (not withstanding your technical competence) positioned you as more likely to experience higher levels of performance success and engagement in that environment. When you lead your team in this way – your team will be mobilised to deliver results that create value for your Company.
Now think back to the leader who left you with the bitter after taste. During this period, did you feel confused, fearful, undervalued, and frustrated? If yes, you were facing an uphill battle to perform at your best in that environment. You may have achieved results; however, the legacy feeling is not one that motivates you towards sustained high performance.
Understanding how you’re feeling now, and how you want to feel in the future is a powerful step in achieving your personal and career goals.
If you can start with understanding yourself, imagine the impact you will have on your team when you can understand how they are feeling. As a leader how and what you say; and your behaviour, will impact how others feel. How people feel at work, will impact how they perform at work. How someone performs at work will impact how the Customer feels. How your Customer feels will ultimately influence overall Company performance.
As a leader, how are your feelings impacting your performance?
Do your team members feel empowered, valued and engaged or confused, frustrated and disengaged?
Is your leadership legacy generating an energy to perform or a bitter after taste in those around you?
Did you know George Washington was known as a leader who embraced the importance of understanding his feelings? Read Why Being Aware Of Your Feelings Is Key to Outstanding Leadership by Janet Britcher of Forbes Coaches Council
If it has been a while since you connected with the leader who positively influenced you, I encourage you to reach out and say thank you. Expressing gratitude is another great leadership trait.
Contact Catherine at catherine.medhurst@knowtogrow.com.au if you would like to learn more about how to understand and manage your feelings to unlock your performance potential.